my family is...

big. I have two brothers and two sisters and live with two parents. My siblings and I are pretty close. We don't fight really. We're all so different that sometimes it's hard to believe we're related. I'm not closer to any than one sibling than to the others. My littlest brother I don't "know" as well as the others i guess. But only because he's growing up when we're all teenagers. That always makes me sad for him. When I was growing up I had all my siblings to play with and we wached little kid T.V. and lived a kid life. He's growing up with MTV instead of Arthur. He witnesses so much more than I could have imagined at that age. I wonder what he's going to grow up like...different than us I think. He already uses words like "tight" and "crunk" and he's only eight. I don't know...maybe it isn't a bad thing. It's just different. My other brother Charlie is alot like me I guess...except he's more relaxed. probably because he's a guy. My older sister is real high maintenance. .I"ve grown up with her though and we still get along really well. MY other sister is in middle school and kind of gets it rough. She always seems to gt left out in the family because she's the middle child and has a quiet nature. Becasue of that however, she now is loud and talks all the time to get attention. sucks for me. I share a room with her. I think I'm supposed to be writting about one thing about my family... My house is loud. I like it though. I get annoyed of course. It's nice when there's only a couple people home...but I couldnt live like that forever. It's fun always having someone there. It's always crazy of course, but I like when things are crazy so it works out for me. My mom is the louder parent. She's always home so that's probably why. My Dad is alot like me though, only quiter. I think my dad and I seriously have the same brain sometimes. I can relate to him perfectly. He said he used to tlak alot like me, and then one day he ran out of things to say. My mom is more like my siblings. Their practical. She loves common sense and reality. Basically, she's good at math and science. Me and my dad like to write and daydream.I'm just as close with both of them though. My mom doesn't have the same sense of humor as me but I still enjoy her company equally because she's honestly just such a GOOD person. Me and my dad have, i guess a ritual. Whenever we need something from the store, just me and my dad go to the farmers market. I don't know when it started. I think always. Anyway, me and him go there andalways get something wierd and foregn. It's really fun and gives us a chance to spend time together. It's an every day task, I know, but its our task, and I look forward to it every week, even if that sounds lame. My littlest brother is like me and my dad I think. We'vev started letting him come with us to the market lately. He buys pomegrante juice as his wierd thing. My mom thinks we're all wierd. Ha ha.

A long rambling about confusion...

After reading Oedipus and watching starnger than fiction I've decided that I really can't live my life around the knowledge of freewill VS fate. If I worry about my fate, and how every decision I make could affect my life, even possibly end it, than what the hell kind of life will I live? Had Harold Crick not reset his wristwatch, he would not have been severley injured, almost killed. Am I going to worry about how the little decisions I make could aaffect my life? NO. I do think it would be interesting to know what decisions we have made in the past that were responsible for experiences we have had. I've thought about thtis alot actually, and I don't know whether or not I should regret those seeminglyunsignificant choices, or if I should just embrace the fate they've led me too. If I knew that fate that I created, would I try to change it? If it was a bad fate, like being an incestual pastricidaler (word?) then I would of course try and change it? Even after reading Oedipus, I still believe that I would be able too. If my fate was twisted, like Harolds, where he dies, bt for a noble cause, I have no idea what I would do. I would feel terribe if I didn't save the little boy, but I wouldn't knowingly go to that bus stop. This is frustrating and now I'm just rambling. I don't really care as much about whether or not we have free will or fate, as much as I do about how our choices lead us to that fate. There are so many little things that I have done that have changed my course, my life. Was it my fate for me to have made those choices, or did free will in making them lead me to my fate? It would be kind of nice to believe that fate has controlled us, so we can't be held accountable, yet that also means we feel insignificant. I think I have come out of this more confused han when I went in to i. I think that it is because I have learned though.

Every individual can only hear whats going on around them-whats in their particular audio range. Right now I hear computer whirring, kids talking, seemingly insignificant noise. What would happen however, if we could hear what everyone hears, all at once? Maybe if God looks down on earth he can hear all of the noise at once. I think it would sound like music. The song we are playing is already written-we are just the fingers on the keyboard, playing the song. The song's title is Fate. We might mess up and hit the wrong key every once in a while, but we're still playing the same song. It is still going in the same direction. There are choruses that repeat themselves, because we can never seem to learn from our past. We have enough free will to play our own instrument and even make those mistakes, but we don't have the choice to rewrite the song. It is written. And we are always playing it. What we do affects everyone else and we can't silence that harmony. We are each a single note and we can't change the overall sound, but we can affect it. We don't know or have the power to know what is going to happen next. The trombone section may make an ugly sound, we might drop our flute all together, but what is going to happen next IS already known, because the song is written, and always has been.